Dear Diary,

I'm feeling quite depressed today. I remember how Despair feels. I remember it quite vividly now.

I'm not sure how I'm going to sail through this. I'll try. I feel like I've emotionally regressed. After that call today, I felt that everything I've been struggling for has been rolled back. I'm rolled back to being 18 again emotionally. That vulnerable, lonely mess of what I was. If I have depression again, I'm not quite sure how I'm going to cope. I don't want a downward spiral. I was really hoping to get a job by October. FUCK, FUCKING FUCK, WHY CAN'T I FUCKING MAKE IT FUCKING WORK.