may your disgraces be private

dear diary,

 

I think I was well behaved today. There is a phrase that I remember from the simpsons, that Mayor quimby says to his nephew: may your personal disgraces be private. That's kind of how I feel today. I went to see a gig, it was pretty good. I met up with my mate, and met his friends, I was silent for a bit of it but I enjoyed the evening. I then did an exceptionally long session at the gym, I racked up some points on fitocracy. I pushed it hard today. I had a single of johnny walker black label. I have to say, I quite like it. Christopher Hitchens knew his booze well.

 

I'm kinda feeling a bit shit that my mates are all doing well in their lives and I'm stuck at base camp. I'm jeremy from peep show and I really fucking hate it. I'm carrying a lot of resentment. I'm carrying lots of feelings of entitlement and I'm not happy with that. I'm hiding it through a veneer of magnanimity. They went through their lives in their own way, and I've done it my way. I'm not feeling so great. I'm hiding it behind a solitary smile. Tomorrow is a work day, so I'll have to stop thinking and just sleep. Tomorrow is another day.I don't like this part of myself. I'm not showing it, but I'm feeling it as I express it through words.

Maybe it will be better.