Dear Diary,

 

Why do I start with that 'Dear Diary' bullshit? I'm so obsessed with formality that I need proxies and ritual to get into my head.

It's 2am. I had a bit of vodka with my mate as he visited. I had a haircut. I have mixed feelings. I am toying with the idea of having short hair, but getting my hair cut increasingly shorter also reminds me of how much I hate my hair this short. I missed the GP appointment. No good excuse for that. I managed to catch up with non-vital tasks, while shedding other regular tasks. I'm trying to optimise my schedule as I realise how cluttered it is.

 

Right now I'm cramming on all the blogs I follow: feminism, computer gaming, technology news, job applications and job search advice.

Honestly: I feel that I've lost hope. I've given up on myself, my life and I'm coasting, dragging, sinking.

I don't have anyone to talk to and it's all fucking up.I think I might need to start on the antidepresants again. I wish I had someone to email. I probably do, but I'll need to think about who.

I'll get back to you. It's 2am and I'm reading about 20 articles at once.