Start.
There are so many ways to start a post but really I'll just dive into it, I have no idea what I'm going to say so this is doing to be what one guy in Grad school refered to as a brain dump.
I have come back from seeing Antonia and her daughter this valentines, we had some good times but then some difficult things happened with her over the weekend and I was trying to be supportive for her and then I was upset because on the friday before I left I had found out that I have a problem with my current tenancy because I am no longer a registered student I have to pay council tax and I really don't have much money besides handouts from my parents and I feel quite anxious about that. I feel that I am more emotionally equipped to face this situation although I was really quite vulnerable and scared last night. Sometimes I feel so distressed that I feel better by not telling people about it , because if I tell people I open up and I come to realise how much more of a calamity I am in.
Lost of other things can be said of the weekend. I spent my spare time at Antonia's playing command and conquer to overcome the anxiety, it helped. I also gave her one of my two teddy bears. Sentimentality call it, it was an emotional and symbolic gift. That teddy that I gave her was a gift given to me by a previous girl who actually made it for me. Thee idea initially was that she would give it to me and the next time we would meet I would give it back (it was a good bye and see you again-type gesture).
If I was actually talking this post would be like me talking really fast to give a zeitgesit of the past few days. Since I was away from my computer for almost all of the time, I need to put in my stuff that I need to do for the weekend and the coming days, especially concerning the council tax situation.
A further thing, just as I came back into the house and set up my laptop, shaved, brushed my teeth (oh yeah, I lost a big chunk of my remaining tooth [the bulimia tooth] on sunday, I am keeping it in a chewing gum tin that I bought from the overpriced starbucks).
I also got 'fired' from my job as a tutor. 'Let go' is also another term. She did so on amicable terms. Apparently, the school that she goes to (a very posh private school) said they will provide her with extra curricular help with any classes, thus, the teachers said that there was no need for a tutor (ie. me).
Well, it was nice having a first job, I also earned about £24 or so. At least I can now say that I have had a job. Something for the CV...
The first thing I asked myself was: are you upset?
I don't think I'm upset, unless it seeps in later when I get really depressed and there aren't any cheese balls or snacks left in the house (which currently, there are). I think I have settled down into my seat now after 1.5 hours of travelling. Time to get to it.
I have a difficult situation ahead of me, so I'm going to get to it.
Ta ta
There are so many ways to start a post but really I'll just dive into it, I have no idea what I'm going to say so this is doing to be what one guy in Grad school refered to as a brain dump.
I have come back from seeing Antonia and her daughter this valentines, we had some good times but then some difficult things happened with her over the weekend and I was trying to be supportive for her and then I was upset because on the friday before I left I had found out that I have a problem with my current tenancy because I am no longer a registered student I have to pay council tax and I really don't have much money besides handouts from my parents and I feel quite anxious about that. I feel that I am more emotionally equipped to face this situation although I was really quite vulnerable and scared last night. Sometimes I feel so distressed that I feel better by not telling people about it , because if I tell people I open up and I come to realise how much more of a calamity I am in.
Lost of other things can be said of the weekend. I spent my spare time at Antonia's playing command and conquer to overcome the anxiety, it helped. I also gave her one of my two teddy bears. Sentimentality call it, it was an emotional and symbolic gift. That teddy that I gave her was a gift given to me by a previous girl who actually made it for me. Thee idea initially was that she would give it to me and the next time we would meet I would give it back (it was a good bye and see you again-type gesture).
If I was actually talking this post would be like me talking really fast to give a zeitgesit of the past few days. Since I was away from my computer for almost all of the time, I need to put in my stuff that I need to do for the weekend and the coming days, especially concerning the council tax situation.
A further thing, just as I came back into the house and set up my laptop, shaved, brushed my teeth (oh yeah, I lost a big chunk of my remaining tooth [the bulimia tooth] on sunday, I am keeping it in a chewing gum tin that I bought from the overpriced starbucks).
I also got 'fired' from my job as a tutor. 'Let go' is also another term. She did so on amicable terms. Apparently, the school that she goes to (a very posh private school) said they will provide her with extra curricular help with any classes, thus, the teachers said that there was no need for a tutor (ie. me).
Well, it was nice having a first job, I also earned about £24 or so. At least I can now say that I have had a job. Something for the CV...
The first thing I asked myself was: are you upset?
I don't think I'm upset, unless it seeps in later when I get really depressed and there aren't any cheese balls or snacks left in the house (which currently, there are). I think I have settled down into my seat now after 1.5 hours of travelling. Time to get to it.
I have a difficult situation ahead of me, so I'm going to get to it.
Ta ta
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