...

I've receieved my second rejection.

I sent 5 applications.

2 rejections.

I'm just still, in shock. Especially cos I've only been awake for 20 minutes. I have a slightly overwhelming feeling that my life is getting pretty bad. Day by day there is something to dread about and the white light that I was hoping for in the distance is slowly becoming unrealisable. If I cry now, could it make things better?

What do I do today? I have a not unreasonable feeling that my grades were so bad that I would not actually get into any graduate school.

I can't keep going on being slightly hopeful. You might say its only one rejection, or it's only another rejection.

I've fucked it

 I've fucked up my life.

If only....that's the one phrase that my teahers back in school warned us against. Never say If Only.....