Dear Diary,

Today is a saturday, I had a really long sleep last night and into the late morning. But I won't beat myself up about that. I was so tired yesterday and it seemed that the activity had an impact on me.

I spontaneously decided to take Friday off and went out for a bit. I went shopping with the girl and we just hanged out for a bit. I don't really do that so often so it was nice. In addition I sat on the bus in total for about 4-5 hours. I had a lot of thinking to do. I only had 100mb free data so after rinsing it on spotify, I ended up having a think for a bit.

So today: I had a mess on my desk just now. I put the mess of the desk on to my bed, and I stacked it in some kind of order. I'm really tired today and i was thinking about how much I value just having a day where I don't have to do things. On sunday, for example, I have a routine around now of having to prep for gym. Through the weekdays I have work. On saturday I have the nonsilent wind through my window carrying the distant sounds of a busy city.

My life is different now. Different compared to when? Different compared to when I started this blog and what I might now call the 'limbo years'. The limbo years themselves divide into phases: no work, work: part time: work; semi-full time; work, full time before contract...

I have a lot to do. A lot I need to do, a lot I want to do and just overall a lot to do.

Saturday is the day when I filter all of that out. I keep thinking to myself how much I want a stimulant. Not so much a self soothing (junk food etc), but something to boost my mind. I really am hooked on the pre workout lately (and pepsi max),