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Dear Diary

 

I'm kind of feeling depressed. The kind of depressed that I hate. I was really tiredearlier, so I went to sleep. What then happened was that I woke up feeling miserable and my dad was making stupid noises downstairs. It really depresses me. It depresses me that I'm making job applications for jobs that I could, I should have gotten 3 years ago. I've lost 3 years of a career that I am never going to get back.

Fuck.

Saying that really eats me inside. I've lost time that I'm NEVER GETTING BACK.

And they say not to dwell.

 

I was going to blog earlier and say something positive, but to be honest the only respite I could have is from food. At least I don't have any alcohol fixations. Well, I seem to have a fixation about how often I tell people I don't get drunk, like it's a thing of pride. Maybe I should work on that.I'm going to make a list of things I need to work on:

1. I need to sleep less during the day
2. I need to wake up early
3. I need to not go to bed so late
4. I need to say less about how I'm not drinking
5. I need to get on with my life. Graft more