I just came. I wiped my jizz using a restaurant napkin. I really needed that. Yes. I can be crass. I can say what I like on this blog because nobody reads it.
I really needed that orgasm, it helped clear my head. I have cleared 120 items from my Starred RSS feeds. I've cleared an additional 1600 or so over the past couple days. It's only going to build up again, of course. I like it as bed time reading. Or reading when I'm at work.
So, lets talk about today this day just ended (counting from when I woke up).
I got up late. Usually because I sleep late. I also felt a bit of motivation from getting a HC2 form in the post. I probably blogged about it. My boss said that she cancelled on my shift, but offered me an alternate one that was available. Not bad. Not a gain, not a loss. I won't feel as bad about the interview now. I was expecting the psychology/wellbeing people to book an appointment with me. However they flaked and called me at 17:10. When they say they would call me back in the morning. I expect 12:30 at the latest. Not 17:10.I didn't get the call (phone was acting all fucky), I gotta call tomorrow.
I went to body pump class. I got a good pump. I got a good amount of strain and pain. Enough to go home immediately. I also felt an anxiety attack in the toilet afterwards (best not to go into why). Today I had a delivery. A new toy. It is a musical instrument, yes, another fuckign instrument. I also learned hot to play it, played around with it, and had a few thoughts about how to teach people to sing. I volunteered to get involved with this group and said basically: I want to help you be better performers.I feel like its an important way for me to combat mia. Also since I was a singer in the past I thought it would be nice to do something musical.
*random flashback*. David from Choir said how he wanted to get into music, make contacts, make it big and be a singer or a pianist. He just needed lessons, and contacts, or people who had a studio. David was so poor he walked from the far reaches of east london to notting hill because he wanted to save money on his oyster card. I felt for the guy. I wonder how he's doing. I think I might email him soon just to touch base. Was really nice that choir last year. Something folded about it, it just suddenly lost interest after our first gig. Don't know what it was. Either that, or they continued playing and I wasn't invited (also likely). But it was a good learning experience for me, being around graduates, and getting back into singing. On reflection, 2012 was a big year for me in some ways, even if I didn't get a job.
I booked an appointment with the specsavers, because basically. I was meaning to but I kept putting it off, and then I realised my exemption form expired, and I needed to get one, dwelled on that, then ordered it, dwelled on filling it out, then filled it out, sent it off immediately and now the HC2 form has come to me. Much better than the HC10 form. Now I can get dental treatment!
I did a bit of research on how to teach people how to sing. Got some good ideas. Most of them are traditional things, some of them I think might be fun. I also did some prep for the interview. Need to do more for Friday though. Must keep calm, don't take it too seriously, but also don't be too casual.
I know that if I get rejected at the phone interview. I'm going to be devastated, and I'll lose confidence again, and all this productive shit will be for nought.I fucking hate that feeling. I need some hope. I need a fucking break. Will you give me a fucking break, world?
I should probably sleep. But I'm hungry. I'm going to eat some stuff from downstairs. It's healthy food I think. I'm also going to sleep afterwards. Hopefully.
I wish I get a decent job. I hope its the one i'm interviewed on friday. I want my life to move forward, then I can move out of my parent's place, go on dates, meet girls, maybe have a sex life, maybe experiment with guys sexually, maybe buy new clothes, maybe have a career, maybe do a PhD, maybe work to a mortgage. You know, the normal stuff. Instead I'm reading blogs at 3am, wanking into a nando's serviette and moaning and writing stylistically badly on this fucking blog.
Downstairs to get some carbs...
No comments:
Post a Comment