Right now. Just sent off an application for the day. Listened to a podcast about how people in their 20s are fucked because of the GFC/Recession/unemployment/lack of opportunities which depressed me. Then I sent off a job application, I got a call from my boss to the effect of: would you like to do an 8-10 hour shift instead of a 6 hour one? That's an extra £20-35 or so quid maybe? (before tax). Yes please boss. She's really nice, almost like a real person I could talk to at the pub. But of course people at work aren't real people, they are cyborgs (I say in jest).
I'm currently listening to the album 'No More Tears', and then the titular song came on. It reminds me of 2008 August. I had a girlfriend, I was so happy, but at the same time everything in my life fell apart. It's the kind of time that defined everything, it started and finished everything and now my life is broken and in shards. I live with the somewhat reluctant acceptance of this. Now what? Now I look at courses to possibly apply to for the next 2-3 hours? It appears as hours on my schedule. I might dismiss them tout court in 10 mins. I've been putting it off. The song 'No More Tears' is playing. It was the soundtrack for the craziest time of my life.
As the song came on I felt I needed to blog. I needed to vent, needed to express.The song meant a lot to me once. I almost feel like I want to repeat the song. Now, I think I need to listen to it and move on, no repeats. I can't keep clinging on to the things symbolic of a past that is no longer the present. more importantly, I can't cling on to those symbols. Now the sing S.I.N. has come up. :)
onwards
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