while at reed; I've found a whole range of attitudes, outlooks and reactions, both from the metaphorical prisoners (like myself) and the prison officers. I see around me so many different approaches to our mutual situation. A negative attitude breeds a negative response. It seems the only neutrality comes from genuine effort.
Next to me is someone who is working on a CV and seems otherwise dedicated (minus some swearing yesterday). I see the guy I started off with, the guy who impregnated the girl; and that girl was friends with Ems; who in turn has her own way of response. Pregnator guy is being told off by one of the prison officers because of his lack of effort in job searching. all he does is sit outside with one of the other guys and 'sunbathe' in her words. His lack of effort and motivation denotes his sense of hopelessness, and perhaps worse than hopelessness is his unwillingness to improve his situation or to realise that these people are trying to help him. He's the resistant inmate.
There are the smart alec guys, they are defensive of their flaws and problems that they are suggested to work on. They start out okay, sometimes friendly, sometimes they are graduates or just smart and skilled people. They tend to get aggressive toward the staff as an expression of their lack of will to change.
There is then the slightly slow fellow; he's doing his best, he's unwittingly hopeless, but he's working on his flaws. He can't possibly offend the sentiments of the officers because of his well meaning nature; he however, due to genetics, and poor confidence, is also hopeless. I wish him well. Maybe one day, when he's out of 'jail'; he'll do well, or end up in Big Brother.
What am I in these scheme of things? I'd like to think of myself as the morgan freeman or tim robbins type. I don't cause trouble, and i'm friendly with the warden. I speak to the warden on a similar level to him, and I'm not doing anything to give me a longer sentence. If I am granted a longer sentence it may be just because of my overqualification.
I see the flaws in these people and I probably have my own. My lack of will or resistance to adapt to their ways; I do however, eventually adapt. Maybe I'm like the hopeless slow man; maybe I'm also arrogant. Maybe I'm none of these things. In a sense, I don't really care to explore the depths of what role I play. I just get on with things; or at least look as if I do.
I find blogging in prison comforting.You might be thinking how odd it is that for the past few weeks I have been blogging very little and today I give three posts. I suppose that shows my laziness today, but also I feel in an introspective mood; the kind of mood that i'm too tired to communicate after I get home. Speaking of home. I'll probably go in an hour.
I write to let go of thoughts and move on with my life. I hate that feeling that i need to write lotso f posts because I have so much to talk about. I find writing these posts a lot better than actually talking to people. I can use these self monologues for future reference and there is something awfully academic about writing like this; it has 'references' and urls and systematised referencing potential.
Next to me is someone who is working on a CV and seems otherwise dedicated (minus some swearing yesterday). I see the guy I started off with, the guy who impregnated the girl; and that girl was friends with Ems; who in turn has her own way of response. Pregnator guy is being told off by one of the prison officers because of his lack of effort in job searching. all he does is sit outside with one of the other guys and 'sunbathe' in her words. His lack of effort and motivation denotes his sense of hopelessness, and perhaps worse than hopelessness is his unwillingness to improve his situation or to realise that these people are trying to help him. He's the resistant inmate.
There are the smart alec guys, they are defensive of their flaws and problems that they are suggested to work on. They start out okay, sometimes friendly, sometimes they are graduates or just smart and skilled people. They tend to get aggressive toward the staff as an expression of their lack of will to change.
There is then the slightly slow fellow; he's doing his best, he's unwittingly hopeless, but he's working on his flaws. He can't possibly offend the sentiments of the officers because of his well meaning nature; he however, due to genetics, and poor confidence, is also hopeless. I wish him well. Maybe one day, when he's out of 'jail'; he'll do well, or end up in Big Brother.
What am I in these scheme of things? I'd like to think of myself as the morgan freeman or tim robbins type. I don't cause trouble, and i'm friendly with the warden. I speak to the warden on a similar level to him, and I'm not doing anything to give me a longer sentence. If I am granted a longer sentence it may be just because of my overqualification.
I see the flaws in these people and I probably have my own. My lack of will or resistance to adapt to their ways; I do however, eventually adapt. Maybe I'm like the hopeless slow man; maybe I'm also arrogant. Maybe I'm none of these things. In a sense, I don't really care to explore the depths of what role I play. I just get on with things; or at least look as if I do.
I find blogging in prison comforting.You might be thinking how odd it is that for the past few weeks I have been blogging very little and today I give three posts. I suppose that shows my laziness today, but also I feel in an introspective mood; the kind of mood that i'm too tired to communicate after I get home. Speaking of home. I'll probably go in an hour.
I write to let go of thoughts and move on with my life. I hate that feeling that i need to write lotso f posts because I have so much to talk about. I find writing these posts a lot better than actually talking to people. I can use these self monologues for future reference and there is something awfully academic about writing like this; it has 'references' and urls and systematised referencing potential.
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