Dear Diary,
It's Christmas. My parents are quite happy right now, my mum is happy with the gift, my dad with the olive branch. We are waiting for a couple of people to come over, Eileen's husband and my brother. Eileen's husband is a bit insufferable, not least because I think he killed his family with his attitude, my brother's balding head depresses me as a spectre of what is to come.
Last year, Eileen and her husband were here, they were pretty sad as it was the second year without their son. Now for Joffrey, its the first year wtihout his wife. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time. I'll try to remember that. My brother is quite happy, he has a great girlfriend and she's really fun and although sometimes quiet, she is caring and sweet and great with kids, something that's useful when she has her own nieces. Bro moved in with her earlier this year and his new business is going fairly well. It's nice that he's sorted out his job situation: by becoming his own boss!
and what about me? That's always the qeustion when I'm around my successful friends. What about me? I don't really know to be honest. I wish I could do more with my life. I'm doing a lot and maybe I could do more, but I do think I'm pushing myself harder than most people do. The reality is, I'm not the one with the mortgage, girlfriend or successful career and they are. Good for them, I just wish I had something going like that. I guess I am jealous. I'm not going to drink today. My misery deserves to be acknowledged to its full and to a sober degree, no overemphasis with alcohol and likewise, no ignoring my problems through alcohol.
Mum's got the turkey in the oven, dad's doing phone calls. I'm on the computer. Maybe one day I'll think of days like these fondly. For now, I'm hoping of a better tomorrow. Maybe I should just enjoy that I'm still in my 20s!
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