Sunday, May 4, 2008

47 (the purging countdown)

I just purged right now; I found that I need to lose 37lbs more to lose weight.

47 is the number of my purgings going down. The number represents 1lb, for every lb I need to lose before I go down to 130 (when I weighed 180, presumably).

I must go down in weight as aggressively and fast as possible. Food is becoming swiftly irresistable, and I am finding myself quickly liking to keep the food inside me...

Today I weight myself and I got worried. Gained 14lbs...FUCK!

I wonder, after 47 more purges, will I stop?

That is the big question, the question that makes this an eating disorder or a test of determination...

I am really in the shit right now.

Another interesting thing. Projectile vomit today!

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