These days I watch episodes of things on netflix and tivo like Cracker and Highlander. Nostalgia tv as it were. I like how (not for cracker) there are episodes which are basically open and shut. Open: problem. Resolved: closed. Very simple.

I had a really really bad depression/ED temptation episode today. I pushed myself, I pushed and pushed and pushed to get things done. The hours went by like sand in one of those glass timers and I didn't notice it go by. I was too busy.

I really wish I could push myself more like that. I also don't want it to have to take a serious upset moment to lead me to do that.

I'm proud of myself today. I survived some pretty bad triggers. I'm still hurting and its not 'resolved' y a damned sight, but... I did good. I gave something to fight those demons that I have. Something to show for myself.

Now it's tomorrow to think about.