Dear Diary,
something had been on my mind since I finished at sentinel sports: should I ask the manager for a reference?
I finally emailed back, asking her. I...was really anxious about it. The thoughts I had:
- She's not going to accept it
- she's going to ignore it
- she's going to think badly of me if i asked
- she's not just going to reject me, but it will look badly on my presence in the organisation
Feelings
- Guilty - I feel bad for asking her - like I'm asking her for something unreasonable
- frustrated -for being so ...procrastinating about this.
- worried - about the implications of not asking
I did it. I fucking did it.
FUCK
FFUCK
does it feel like a relief? no. Does it feel like I'm not worried about it anymore - well, less.
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