dear diary,

 

the blessing and curse of hindsight is that you realise the past wasn't as bad as you thought it was.

I'm looking through some videos of me back then, my god I was sexy! I miss my really long hair. Maybe one day I'll let it grow again.

since about tuesday I've had hard drive problems, and I've been venturing to resolve it. I think that I've finally sorted out the hard drive issue by getting another HDD, it cost me a big but I have peace of mind. Looking at the archives make me a bit sad. I used to be a firebrand, an arrogant, exegetical, aggressive and libidinal machine! I feel meek, weak, meagre, pitiful and powerless now.

 

That's the benefit of wisdom and growing old, you realise how powerless you really are. Being 21 was like being on top of the world and I didn't know it. I didn't care. I didn't give a shit and that was so attractive. Now, I'm begging to work in admin. What happened to me? The hard drive incident gave me moment for pause, as I had to venture to save my records (which I did). I started this blog in 2007 to talk about the past. Now talking about the present, I'm met by the ghosts of the days when this blog was in existence. It's weird how that feels to me.

I've got plenty to keep my mind busy with for the next few days. I've even got extra shifts at work. times were so different back then, I was so different back then.

I wish I had someone to talk to. Nobody knows who I am anymore. Nobody really knows me, not all of me.