I'm just a little black raincloud

Dear Diary,

It's about 1:30am when I've started to write this post. The past few days have passed me by too quickly for one's own good. Fatigue has ruined most of my day. I have done the following on Wednesday: I've prepared for an interview, replied that I will go to an interview, been invited for an interview (yesterday), I got a blog entry posted as a guest submission, I've recieved a new book review assignment on the role of appearance and sexual attractiveness as a form of social advancement. I've applied to a job, sent off a shift list for next month (not many shifts) plus I've gotten a clean bill of health from my GP regarding hair loss anxiety.

On Tuesday after work, I did a long session (2 hours) at the gym, then I did badminton. After which I was pretty tired but it did not show. Wednesday (today being thursday) it did show, as I was conked out in the afternoon and most of my daylight consciousness was gone by then. I sought to prep for the interview as well as catch up on other stuff. I think that lately my activities have been catching up in one way or other where each day I do a good amount of catching, but still something may get in the way to push things back. I think this is just the condition of real life.

I want to go on a date. I want to go out. I want to do something fun, that involves people, that may even involve flirting or kissing or cuddling. I will have to wake up in a few hours to prep for an interview, at that point I shall then advance to said interview, get it done and then go home.

I feel a bit miserable today. Partly because I feel like there is so much going on, so much planned and so much to do. I have to practice a repetoire for my cousin's wedding, I have an upcoming performance with the choir. I'm thinking of getting more involved with the community group; I want to do more fitness classes; I want to train harder so I might do tough mudda; I want to get some semblance of a life; I want to earn more and gain independence in my life; I want to be achieving in my life and maybe do something academic; I don't want to be so lonely.

It's nice to get my intentions out there, even if in an anonymous blog as this. This is my intention balloon. I've filled it up with air and I'll see if it falls or rises when I press 'publish post'. I hope the interview goes well tomorrow, but I expect that it won't.

Onwards.