Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What I see from other people

I have a colleague who is the same rank as me, but acts like the boss. This person is so bossy but few people bother to call her out on it and we just let her get away with it. Sometimes her arrogance gets the better of her, she pretends to know something and I like getting her in a corner in those situations and correcting her, and it becomes apparent to me that she was just guessing about various things (work related and not). I think a couple of things stick to my mind when I think of her: she's a catholic, and there is something very familiar about Catholics (growing up as one), in addition she said that her daughter earns around 60-70k. That really floored me, especially because she says that that is the 'normal salary'. It's clear that I don't live in her world. She's also a bit racist.

Lots of things made me uncomfortable today at work, but I think that all in all, I've survived and patiently endured. I've stacked on some calories as I got home. My mum is complaining about my weight. My mum is complaining that I'M LOSING TOO MUCH WEIGHT. My mum complains that my dad is too lazy (and to her credit, he is). My dad's sloth is a darkness in my family, he's obese. My dad has never talked to my sister. There is some family issue going on that I am not allowed to talk about, not because I was told not to, but because it seems like some kind of social rule, no one talks about it, about what happened, about why this happens.It leaves a shadow in my mind, in my family, a shadow that I cannot begin to describe how it feels. It's a shadow because its an object I cant identify, but all I can identify is that it is there.

By the way, this is week two without counselling. What did I do today? I worked an 11 hour shift at work, I'm back home by around 9:20. It wouldn't be unreasonable if I just went to bed now and slept until tomorrow. I felt pretty worn down throughout the day, after around 5pm, my knees are really hurting, and my back is giving me some pain. I think its from overuse.

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