Dear Diary,
What have I done today? I woke up at around 8am and thought that I could still lay in bed a bit more. I then next noticed that it was nearly midday. "Fuck!" I thought to myself. I think its fair to say that I've done a bit more since then. I didn't bother to shower yet, as I plan on going to the gym later (and work a sweat up). I've found a nice uniqlo jumper in my inventory. It possibly belongs to my brother, but no matter, I enjoy wearing it. I don't wear jumpers much, but this is a great colour and suits the weather.
The weather is getting cold, and my abilities are going down. Within that framework I have a maximum of things I can do. All things considered, I've done well. Let's make a list:
- I guiltily ate McDonalds yesterday, breaking my 'rule', however I think I didn't break the rule when I noticed that tomorrow. I've reached 200lbs, EXACTLY when I weight myself. This is a sign of confidence. I can be thin without purging. I didn't cheat this time.
- I've applied to two jobs today
- I've put myself up for two more extra shifts this month. According to my calculations that will mean I should get around £100 more next month. I am reminding myself that Christmas is coming, and all the work this month goes to the Xmas pot: presents, nights out, booze, living fees. Might I even have enough for post xmas sales??
I'm getting memories, but strangely enough, from a very recent time: 2010. I was quite excited this time of year for a few things. I started a new job, even though it didn't pay a great amount. I also have fond memories of starting to engage with culture again, watching modern TV instead of being stuck in the past, which upsets me more and makes me feel isolated. I started to embrace my inner nerdgeek a little bit. I was really excited about this tv show: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, I'm quite a fan of Iron Man and I had a boyhood boner about him teaming up with Captain America and the other guys. Just thinking about that little memory, and the fun I had with my family during xmas gives me a sense of warmth. It makes me look forward to this year's xmas.
So if you ever asked if I ever get Christmassy, the answer is a reluctant yes. I look forward to this time of year. Another thing I should add, is that during this time of year, I'm in fashion heaven. All of my favourite clothes I get to wear at this time of year: gorgeous long jackets, practical boots which are both macho and stylish, cord trousers (I wear them all year but this is cord season), and my winter base layer (note: I've also worn this all year).I also think that I am changing my t-shirt size. All of my L base layers are hanging loose, and it might be time to start M'ing it. I'm happy about the weight loss progress. I'm glad that I've got extra shifts this month, and I'm glad that I've sent 2 job applications today.
I still have a lot more to do. I have to prepare for a tutoring session on thursday potentially, I need to consider if I'm going out for a 'date' like situation this weekend, and there's all the other schedule shit that's coming up. I won't even start about the interview days that are coming up for the graduate scheme thing I was at yesterday (it scares me). I'm off to counselling. It's apparently my penultimate session. The counsellor said that I don't have to end things as it may seem premature after the diffulcuites I had last week. Sometimes its hard to notice when things are quite good when you are feeling down overall. I guess that's why I have fond memories of the Avengers cartoon last year. Today, things are not so bad. For an 'off' day, I've gotten a fair amount done. I just hope tomorrow can bring the same dividends, although I am working in the evening.
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