Monday, January 26, 2009

The heaviness of being loved

A lot of my life story of the past few months has been about trying to get on with my life, but sometimes, the past comes up and haunts me. Anything that is the past, it would seem, upsets me: even if its good or neutral about me.

This weekened has been fairly difficult. I was drunk with Antonia, and she got in trouble with her very annoying landlady, who was, being unfair to her about what she could and could not keep in her shed. Antonia is also being hassled for being persevering and positive by a local shop owner.

I feel angry for her, but I also don't want to add to her distress. Perhaps I was not the best boyfriend in the world this weekend, threatening to defend her honour and all that against the horrible inferior shopkeeper. Excepting my involvement. I trust that she will be okay. I hope she is strong, she has shown an increasingly more vulnerable side to her  recently. Normally she's the strong one. Its up to me to just suck up my own problems and help the world.

In other news, I start my first 'job' tomorrow: I shall be a tutor! I'll let you know how it goes.

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