Dear Diary,

If i were to be blunt, I struggled this week.

I struggled with my energy levels. I struggled with a work life balance. I struggled with my sleep and I struggled with distraction.

In other ways it was a fine week. I went out to see Nightwish (amazing!), I got invited to a fouth Christmas party and...I can't really remember the rest.

Anyway.

Lets talk about the egg swallowing things:

• I'm really struggling with being efficient with my time. There are lots of time holes: youtube, mobile phone games, mobile phone distractions, youtube (did I say that?)
• I spoke to my brother and sister to ask what they wanted for Christmas. I have a plan forward to sort out Christmas. I also feel like they will be accepting towards me during Christmas day.  - I just need to sit there for Christmas day and not be bad or mean or malignant or insincere. Just be nice. Failing that, just be quiet. 
• I'm dealing with a lot of jealousy. I'm jealous of how other people my age are living their lives. Many of them getting married, having kids, one woman I used to cover for on the sunday sentinel has 3 already! I'm jealous about income stuff. I'm jealous of my girlfriend's partners. I'm jealous of people going to parties. I'm jealous of people who aren't afraid of planes. So, yeah, I'm afraid of airline travel. 

I'm really behind on my logging lately. I'm also really behind on my planning. I'm living each day with the plan I set originally, but I need to refine the plans. 

This Friday I decided to take the day off work. I was so unwell I just couldn't manage. 

I'm goping to do the minimum for the remainder of the night. Mostly planning