Thursday, November 15, 2012

November darkness, (and flickers of light)

Today:

 

  • Went to balance class
  • Interview prep
  • Haircut
  • Playlisting
  • Job search
  • Tidy up house
  • Sent speculative application
  • Caught up on some emails

Lots on my mind. Mostly thoughts of 'oh shit I need to catch up!' Now I've an interview tomorrow. I can't focus on anything at the moment. I'm suitably tired. I have more that I need to do, for now I have to just rest my head. It's foggy outside, cold, this feels like home. My parents are coming home tomorrow. I spent a lot of time tidying up the house. I see a lot of darkeness around me, the kind of darkness that is inside the soul. I should be hopeful for the interview.

I haven't been purging, I haven't been thinking about imaginary people. I've just been normal lately. All this contact with people, all this real life stuff, all the boring stuff, it's making me normal. I have lots going on. In a way it is welcome. Its a big contrast to what little happened over the summer. I think that I'm managing well. I just have to push on. This is like the exercise I did earlier today with the medicine ball. My body was so tired and burning from it that I had to force myself to push out some more.

 

My diet has been terrible over the past few days. I look forward to doing a double session at the gym later tomorrow. I used to say that a minimum of 3 big tasks were the foundation of a successful day. Today I did 7 things, now I just need to keep it up. I don't have anything particularly lucid to say. I've been so busy and tired. I might just piss about with my phone now until I fall asleep.

 

Good night.

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