If I were scaling it on 0 (despair) to 10 (elation), I'm about a 3.5

Dear Diary,

 

I haven't been in the best of ways lately. I had about 3 different anxiety attacks since Friday. One was about a friend stressing me out about how he's afraid of dying alone. This affected me visiting Adora. I told her I think I should leave. I was feeling very anxious. Adora gave me some of her prescribed tranquilisers. They made me a bit loopy. But it helped. Now I realise why Dr. House enjoyed those drugs so much, it took away my angst.

Sometimes there are feelings that you hold on to so strongly that you wish not to rid yourself of it, for me perhaps that is my anger and sense of injustice in the world. But I could happily get rid of my anxiety if I could. Then there was an incident at work. There was an Israel fundraiser and some of the guests were very unfriendly. My boss warned me that the security staff can be a bit rough handed, as they have a private security team. I then found the security staff to be utterly amicable.The guests were not. One of the guests were very rude to my colleagues, one of them said 'WE ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO WORK HERE'. It didn't help that the colleague he was rude to was an arab. This political/cultural issue of the whole difficulty in israel right now hit badly.

I've also started playing minecraft. It's really cool. I've made a house, a cave and I've managed to do some cool stuff without cheating. So this week I'm working 3 days. I've not got much space or time to do gym stuff or apply to jobs. I'm not giving myself too much of a hard time about it, because work takes a bit out of me. I'll finish by 11pm, get home by midnight and I'll catch up on reading blogs and whatnot.

I'm not concentrating so well right now either. That's no good. I'm tempted to go for a walk right now and do some errands. Perhaps catching up on emails would be best for now.

 

My head isn't in a good place today. If I were scaling it on 0 (despair) to 10 (elation), I'm about a 3.5