So, Eileen died on Saturday. Sunday involved going to work, coming home. There were some family here, I couldn't relax after work because they were here. My uncle suggested nachos and melted cheese. I might make that later this week. It's all about Eileen at the moment. Lots of dark shit is coming out right now, all the stuff about the circumstances of her death, her husband's paranoia and his distrust of outsiders, his biogtry, his prejudices and it made everyone uncomfortable. Eileen's husband is a very unlikeable man, and it was only her that made any of this worthwhile. Now that she's gone, people will have less tolerance for him, Eileen's husband is saying people will turn against him and blame him for things. Joffrey doesn't want to deal with his problems by accepting them and dealing with it, instead he's in this form of denial where he's questioning even the basis of what the tragedy is. Joffrey is saying he's not convinced its cancer and how because he has so many doctors in the family (naming people who aren't doctors) but she still died.
Tragedy this is. This is a tragedy that happened in close proximity to the death of their son. I was chatting with someone lately and I asked them: do you know the difference between sadness and depression? She said she understood it. This kind of sadness is rational. Right now however, I'm feeling kind of depressed. Sadness is the thought of remembering her voice, and knowing I won't ever hear her again, or see her smile. Depression is me laying in bed at 3pm not having done anything in the day, with little motivation to get up and do things.I'm feeling both. But i need to know they are distinct.
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