back in late november and december, I was really really pumped about the aquaman film coming out. but now that's all fizzled out and other films have since come out.

I feel i really miss those aquaman posters and i really miss aquaman related things. But the culture moves on. There are more marvel films coming out, more netflix things, more tv things, more music things and life and culture goes on.

But I still feel stuck in that mood that I adored, that mood that made so many things feel right in myself and right with the world.

It has become a moral for me. A moral about life. I remember being so excited about going to a club night with my friends in 2006. I would go to this douchebag shop called the officers club because they had cheap high street style clothes and I felt I was being a different person. Instead I was being someone else and someone defined by the cheapness of the culture and the toxicity of the culture of masculinity and no recourse, no escape from it.

I don't know who I am now. But I have things to do. Perhaps by doing, I am being.