Dear Diary,

It's 3:56 am.

I have full blown insomnia.

I seem not to mind, as I have been working on a few things over the past 8 hours. I have also used my dual screen setup to watch tv at the same time.

I have written into my physical gym workout book. That's a thing I use when I'm at the gym, so that I am deliberate about my hypertrophy and my fitness PBs. I'm also a stickler for keeping records (is stickler a word? I saw people saying it I think).

I have trouble going to sleep because I'm afraid of facing the loneliness of being with my own thoughts.

Dear Diary,

I have a worried mind, I've put that energy into being hyperrational. I've been so hyperrational that I've put a weekly plan into place. I've updated all my logs, and i've even worked on what I call 'non priority schema tasks'.

There is something inside me. Something deeply worried and deeply broken.

I feel like I nearly broke down at work, or that I'm at a breaking point. It feels perhaps obvious to some. It's not so obvious to me.

I'll put some spotify on overnight to ease my mind.

Dear Diary,

I am worried either myself or someone else might die and that I have to stop it. I don't know why I think that. It's patently irrational.

I should try to sleep now. I feel the physical fatigue.

If I woke up at 1pm, I would be in a good position to eat breakfast and go straight to the gym. I've alreday set up my book and I'm up to date on records to merit this.

Good night, friend.

I'm doing well on the gratitude app. I'm expressing gratitude to my colleagues at work and they are surprised by it, but in a good way.

Good night.

I hate saying goodnight because I never feel it's the end of a conversation.

Good night.