Dear Diary,

I have (re)discovered an application which reads text on articles, which makes my learning much easier and reading helps too.

This thursday was my 'break the routine' day

The transition between being 32 to 33. It's the transition from being a young person to an old/proper adult person.

I've been thinking a lot about getting a chance to buy a flat. I've been thinking a lot like the protagonist from fight club, about buying a way into normality and conformity.

I got up to a fair amount this thursday. I got up, had breakfast. I had a sitdown breakfast. I went to the opticians for an eye test. I saved about £50 on my prescription using a workplace eye voucher, which was nice.

The lady at the opticians was nice, it wasn't as painful as the last few times. I have bad experiences with opticians, ophamologists and dentists it seems. When I got home I had this crazy idea that being my day off and being 'break the routine day', I needed to do something radically different. It so happened to my mind that radically different meant that I needed to get a gamer chair.

I was fixated on this for a couple of hours, it felt like when I sprint and I use the momentum of my body weight propelling forward as part of the speed and not the propelling of my legs. Like this extended simile of propelling my 115kg weight while sprinting, it was exceptionally difficult to change direction or even stop, so I had to crash myself. I had a crash of energy as my mind got overwhelmed with all the fast thinking, and I slept for a bit. I woke up about 6pm when a neighbour asked for a package. That made me a bit anxious. I don't like the practice of picking up packages for neighbours, nor having to get neighbours to hold packages for me and me knocking on their door.

The guy in the house across was a nice tamil guy with an accent just like mine. Godfrey next door to him had infected my mind with some very racist ideas about these neighbours growing up. I need to decolonise my mind of what I learned as a child, and from Godfrey.

Today was really fucking cold. The other thing bothering me lately is that I only have one decent pair of trousers that cope with weather between -4 to 4 degrees, and those were in the wash because they smelled very strongly of crotch and over use.  They are also wearing out quite a bit at the crotch, which is never nice. I have to wear leggings over normal trousers to cope with the cold, but my main leggings (couldn't find my others) were already in the wash. Basically I was short on suitable clothes. Never thought I'd say that.

I've spent the last few hours updating my google keep reading lists, ticking off what I've read, and I've also caught up on my logging and things. Those were the things I was aspiring to do during the day. At least I've managed it now.

You know, maybe as a spontaneous decision which has come to me now: I could get some tactical black UA trainers and use those for the transitions between work - gym. I also need to get the stability support ones...

My mind is drifting. I should go.

Oh, and the other thing I was meaning to say in this post: I've gotten an app on my phone that logs moments of gratitude. I should say that I am not short on gratitude for people and things.