work was busy today. but I think I'm slowly getting on top of it all.

I had a good lunch today - a nice hotdog. I wqas thinking today about bridges --- I feel like my connections with the Sunday Sentinel have gotten a bit sour --maybe I'm being paranoid. I applied for a job there and they didn't shortlist me. I suspect I didn't make a particularly good impression. In addition I do feel like I'm a burden working there. Especially on account of Jess telling me that I was surplus to requirement regarding the saturday cover.

In addition, another bridge I've burned was with Rash at the legal dept. Rash at legal likes how I work and I've performed well covering for her. However I had to say no to her request (she personally asked for me) because I am doing another cover right now.

I guess that's life...Ugh. The time I spent all of this year was basically solidifying connections and then they potentially break again. It feels really shitty.

But another thought came to my head. I think that some relationships in work and life naturally have an end or sell by date, lots of people in school I hardly ever hear from. But then there are the folks who you have enduring relationships with and stay in contact with. There is also the possibility of making new connections, new potentials. I'm reminded of that passage in the bible where Jesus talks about the mustard seed man sowing seeds ...some seeds go on the paht and don't do anything, some go on bad soil, and some go on good soil. It's just a matter of perseverance, and being open to new opportunities.

That's all good and well, except for the fact that I'm fully booked work wise for the next few weeks.

Now I've got to focus on the bases - shower regularly, stay groomed, stay fed, keep going to the gym, and sleep well.

Speaking of the last one. Better go off to bed.

I'm going to listen to some nice Gerry Mulligan on spotify, then wake up at 7 to put radio 4 on to listen to the today programme, and then get off to work.

Good night.
Although times are tough, I'm fighting. I'm thinking a lot about the past because of what Hannah triggered for me.