Sunday, October 25, 2015

when one of my friends tells me that it's time i need to change my behaviour and act more maturely, i think its time i need to soberly reflect on my life.

Not that I haven't been doing that anyway.

But I could do a better job at life, a better effort in giving a shit about other people, myself and respecting other people.

I have a confession.

Recently I've been slowly more and more drawn to religious (specifically Catholic) upbringing

There's an idea in Catholicism - called venial sin, that everyone is a scumbag, potentially and actually. I think that's really powerful for me because I realise how much of a potential and actual scumbag I've been, that I am and that I could be. It makes me sad, it makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel like I'm a scumbag both from my actions and from my inherent design.

That's what I might call step one.

Then there's step two. Owning up to it. Acknowledging I'm a scumbag and working on being a better person.

Then maybe there's a step three - trying to make good on in the future potentially or intentionally being a dickhead.

Maybe I was brought up catholic and brought up with guilt. I'm not saying that's wrong or right, right now, my sense of regret and guilt is valid.

Now, how do I use that to do the step three thing, and make it right, make me better.

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