Friday, November 14, 2008


One thing that makes me feel down:

I resigned from the last university committee I was involved with. It was in some respects the last straw on the camel's back leaving that committee.

Now that I'm off it, I feel strange.

Like I am a no one
Not liked
Not good enough

The challenge of my days is to give those feelings no oxygen, fuel it with nothing, and maybe it will die away. Overcome those feelings, even realities.

If I push hard against reality hard enough, and what people think of me, I might change the world with my determination, effort and action.

It's hard, but I'm willing to do it, it is unrealised but I will fight on.

Antonia makes me say to myself: I am perfect, whole and complete. Saying things enough makes me believe it.

I am a PhD student.
I deserve it.

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