Things I want to work on:

• sleep better
• eat better
• wake up earlier
• get your targets done

 Recent developments

The gyms have re-opened. I've gotten to start classes again and going to the weights room regularly. It will be a part of my new routine. I enjoy it. 

I haven't been cycling as much. On the other hand, I have also been cycling and locking up my bike with my new lock. I locked up outside the gym and by waitrose. It was good. I have re-checked my insurance situation and I got a fancy lock. 

 Things I need to work on:

• Eat better
• (get your weight down)
• (get your bodyfat down)
• keep active - gym classes, gym programme and cycling
• Keep working on your learning to code
• Socialising (social distancing)
• tally your assets this week

Specific things this week:

• There's a social at work this week
• Meet up with some peeps on saturday? 
• create outfit for thursday? 
• specific work things

 Goals for the week

• Learn more HTML
• Learn some SQL
• Learn some Javascript
• Keep active at the gym
• keep going to class
• Get all your work done
• Get all your advocacy work done
• Maintain caloric deficit (for weight loss)
• Tally your savings 
• Sleep healthily
• Eat better
• Have things to plan for and look forward to
• Ask for help if you need it
• Think about your actions having consequences. If you don't want the consequences, don't do the action. That's what I need to think when I'm at the corner shop looking at Wotsits

 Dear Diary,

A week has passed since Mai's funeral. I have lost a bunch of weight and gained it again. Last night I comfort-bought a pizza off of uber eats. As serendipity has it, it didn't arrive. Apparently the delivery driver for topps pizza had a nasty car crash and the company were to send another driver and another set of pizzas. I told the guy at topps, its fine if you can send over the pizza but I understand that's the least of your troubles now.

The gym has re-opened. My stalwart of routine and wellbeing, my big social centre. I haven't cycled much. I've gotten a fair amount of work done. Lately some days have had herculean demands on me. But the problem lately is that there are days in sequence which have herculean demands. It's worn me out. 

Today I'm getting my admin done. I'm realising there are a bunch of loose end tasks I need to get on with. I can't multitask too much but I'll get some of them done. I'll take breaks if I have to.

On my facebook I see some some of my old uni friends are getting well into their lives as 30-somethings. One person is doing housework, another has a daugther learning to speak. One guy has a father who will die soon from cancer and every day counts. What am I doing? I'm going a lot of LGBTQ+ advocacy, I already changed aspects of the culture at my work and I was responsible for a woman winning an award last year, where she thanked me at the awards ceremony. Some prominent MPs and media industry figures were ther.e 

In other news, I got a bike lock in the mail. I can now lock my bike outside if I go to the Gym. That's nice I guess. I might do the gym later if I can find the time. I need to make a new gym book routine as I hadn't updated my book in 6 months. Going back to the gym will be a nice routine. I'm looking forward to normal. Things in the news suggest that the infection rate has gone up again.

I made a bucket list of things I want to do when things go back to normal. It's eventually become a list of things of 'if I can do this then things will be back to normal'. I was expecting a full reversion back to normal society instead of a gradual one. One of the items on my bucket list was to go back to the tuesday aerobics class. That's a goal. 

Onwards

 Things i am positive about (Tuesday 18 August)

1. I managed to eat after my difficult lack of appetite. It made me very weak
2. I managed to not only to get some bike maintenance done, but I also successfully managed to get  a smoother drive chain movement after clearing the muck from the gear tensioner. It's incredibly satisfying to clean the bike. 
3. I am fighting off some grief at the moment. A death in the family, Mai, and it's hard to think too much about. I'm really having a hard time of it at the moment.

Things I look forward to:

1. The gym opens on Wednesday 19 August, which also includes classes
2. The next bike ride
3. Having some rest (saying that while not resting is hypocrisy)

I really need to rest. I've been through a few living hells lately. 

 A reminder of a mnemonic

A - Accumulate positive experiences - maybe gym when it opens

B - Build masteries in activities - I need to think about this one

C - Cope ahead - I'm working on this. I'm expecting some down time and I've set a routine for days ahead to help if I fall off the wagon.

P - Physical illness prevention - Eat well and sleep well, 

L - Low vulnerability to diseases - I think some of my favourite foods cause heart disease. Maybe I should eat more broccoli

E - Exercise regularly - Related to the gym situation, I might ask if the gym would take my Brompton

A - Avoid mood altering drugs - does pepsi max count? I barely drink and I don't do leisure drugs. I should think about avoiding too much heart diseases causing fast food

S - Sleep healthy - Sometimes insomnia doesn't feel like a choice. I've been working on sleep health a bit lately

E - Eat healthy. That's a day by day issue.

 Today my motivation is at an all time low. i thought it might be useful to list the things that I want to achieve for myself, my goals and my targets. THe things that I need to busy myself with.

• Keep at it with my job and my work
• Keep saving money
• Keep active (when you recover)
• Good health: keeping active, eating well, looking after yourself
• Positive relationships: family, friends and others

Goals:

• Get bodyfat down
• Get weight down
• Learn coding
• Learn mathematics
• Be supportive towards others 
• Do things for the right reasons

Today was a family funeral. Mai had died. I'm not sure how to deal with it really.

 Things I want to work on more:

1. More preperedness for events
2. More time to work on learning to code
3. More time to work on learning mathematics
4. Work seriously on finishing 2 books a week, you've lost your momentum
5. 
   

 So this week. What can I say about this week...

Regarding work. Things are tense with the job loss situation. It seems however that I'm unlikely to be so badly affected by it. At best on aspect of my job will be redefined. Some of my colleagues are feeling this whole thing harder than I am.

Regarding Friends/socialising. I met up with the boys this weekend. That was nice. We had a bit too close contact considering its a pandemic. That worries me a bit. Anyway, we had fun. In fact a few of the guys got a bit too drunk.

Regarding Body/health. It's a heatwave right now. I'm less inclined to go outside. I cycled to the restaurant/pub yesterday (see socialising) and I cycled home around midnight. It was nice as it wasn't too busy. it was the first time I've rode so late at night. I had my lights on. My body has gained a bit of weight and I need to lose it again. I'm looking forward to the Gym re-opening. My friend J said he's not going back to the gym for a while. 

Productivity, I'm working on it. Some things I don't realise how long they take, and I wast the imddle hours of the day working on the things that I end up doing in the late hours of the day. I need to do better on decision making and projections

Here are a list of some of my goals:

• Savings: next major marker: 25k (almost achieved) then 30k
• eat clean
• Maintain plasticity of mind
• Keep active/exercise
• No hoarding
• Get weight down to 102
• Bodyfat down to 29%
• 500kcal daily caloric deficit (not doing so well at that)
• Learn coding
• Learn more mathematics
• Learn more statistics
• Apply statistics and coding to real life (I've been avoiding this)
• Be supportive and loving towards others
• Be more sociable
• Have prosocial relationships (work on it)
• Avoid Avoidance
• Have and keep a job
• Be outdoors more (not necessarily possible with pandemic)
• Gym/training (ibid)
• Keep sober
• Sleep healthy

On reflection I have a lot of things to work on

As an aging millenial,I'm beginning to think about the 'good old days'. I remember Obama, remember Obama? A Michaelle Obama podcast had just been launched and it was a lot about hope and pushing for change.

I've made a decision. I think I'll stop logging on fitocracy. I have religiously been logging on fito but I don't see any point. There are no APIs to speak of and it doesn't really do anything for me.

On another front, 'track your happiness' has returned. I realise that I've been doing on virtually every year since 2010. Back then it was a PhD project. I bet that guy is a professor now. Anyway, it makes me realise how much time has passed by. I'm having a lot of thoughts about 2010. Back in 2010 in the summer, I had some good memories. I didn't yet start working (I think). We went to Thorpe Park, we saw a few cinema movies. When we saw the expendables, one of the guys in our group met a girl, they had a one night stand hookup.  Cut a long story short they are married now.