Saturday, January 14, 2017

Hello Blog,

Today I heard something that surprisingly resonated with me. I sometimes listen to conservative catholic media on youtube (don't ask why I don't know honestly) and one person said in a discussion about evangelisation, that God is in our lives in the silence. That really hit me, that hit me so hard that I am inclined to believe it.

We spend so much of our time away from silence, with people, activities, things, our goals. It's in the silences that we get to think and reflect. My lecturer once said that it is in the shower or toilet that we are most on our own. Of course that was in 2006 when toilet texting was only really beginning to turn into something else.

I don't write enough in this blog. I feel like I've lost myself in not doing so.

We really should talk more, and by that, you host all my words and I talk to you. That's how our relationship works. I've been talking to you ever since I was just turning 20 and that is a really long time for most adults to have a relationship.

I'm getting closer to my work colleagues. I held myself back from saying work friends but...they are friends. We spend so much time together it should be considered as such.

Today I didn't go to the gym. I intended to go, but I decided to stay in bed and rest some more. I'm giving myself a bit less stick about things. I also worked on my scrapbook, which I am preparing for someone's upcoming birthday.

I've had panic attacks in the distant past. They were events that shocked me so much that I feel them as ripples today. My body and mind have changed. I suppose everyone changes in life.

I have a friend who feels we have changed too much. I knew him since secondary school. What does he expect? Does he think we can go out drinking and being stupid forever? I have to go to work on a newspaper at a role I absolutely love and feel fortunate for, and I feel that I can put some things away. There are other things I wish I could move forward from but there are boundaries - financial, status, opportunity. But I want to work my way through these issues and not bury my head in the sand, or in his case, sambuca and whiskeys (that's not a thing by the way).

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