chris

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I wish you well.

We aren't as good mates anymore. You are married now with a kid and that's fair enough. I wish your family the best.

I don't wish that we were friends like we were before. You have changed and I have changed. There's no regrets about this fact, just acceptance.

I do miss how we used to be close. I do regret that I upset your wife by mistake and she got pissed at me.

I do get that you have to take her side.

I won't forgive how shitty she was to me back at me. I'll take it out on you

How I will take it out is that I'll make our contact and our friendship minimal. I'll get you nice gifts for your birthday and for your kid's birthday and for christmas or whenever you invite me to things.

I'll be nice to you and ask how you are. I'll do one or two solids for you from time to time if you ever ask.

But you have changed into someone I wouldn't have been mates with, and you don't approve of who I am, nor do I care what you think about your petty judgmental nature.

We were good friends, the best of friends. For that fact we have an immortal bond that iwll tie us together.

But you've moved on and I think that's great. I've also moved on and I'm trying to work out if I'm in a good place.

I don't envy you, envy entails some modicum of jealousy. Pity, maybe, that you have such a cruel wife. Your brother tells me how cruel she has been to you and how she has been taking a lot of your money.

I wish you well, but not much more.

You have reminded me of an ugly side of myself. I have to face that ugly side of myself.  I'm staring at it and I'll need to stare at it to acknowledge its there.

I hope I can change that ugliness or make it go away. But its not your problem, its mine.

I guess I'm writing this post to face that ugliess, that thing I don't like about myself.