Wednesday, March 2, 2016

an update on my life:

I'm working 3 jobs at the moment. One's a 2 day a week affair. One's a 3 day a week affair, and one's a 1-3 day week affair (and they overlap).

I have trouble organising my food intake but I find planning ahead (and protein flapjacks) have been helpful. I find having a bedtime is extremely useful.

This is almost the situation that I've dreamed of. Except no PhD. I do wonder, if I actually did get a PhD, my life wouldn't really be so different. If I had Marie as a lover all those years ago, we probably would have broken up again and my life would be just as it is now - more or less.

I feel like happily ever after forgets the mundane shit in life.

I work a pretty hectic and active job, I spend a lot of time in the gym. I find that my favourite time of the day (and this is kind of aspirational), is when I look outside the window on my 2nd floor desk and stare at the beautiful london skyline. I stare and see a brief reflection of myself and the bright office lights behind me. Then I see the darkness beyond and the street lights, the buses, the everpresent roadworks and building sites. In this fantasy I'm holding a cup of tea (no milk, milk upsets my tummy) and I just think aaaahhh.

That's usually the moment in which I realise I'm a grownup.That's the moment when I realise that I'm pretty boring, or rather, I aspire to be boring.

No comments: