Sunday, January 27, 2008

Acceptance (not an actual acceptance, just a propadeutic...)

I guess Marie is a good friend, and not, unfortunately, anything more for the time being.

I guess I have to accept that. She's a wonderful person, and I should be happy that she's my friend

(But I feel so alone)

I hate being alone; and this overbearing conclusion that I am leading towards. I can't have anyone but her. I cannot be with anyone but her. I guess I have to accept that I will be on my own. It wouldn't feel right to be intimate with anyone else, to be close to another. It would feel wrong, empty, soulless, physical.

My heart is heavy; I guess I did well with all the help I have for her, and being there to listen to her.

I have to attend to my own life...fucking essays! (I just wish there were more...)

I have to accept I will be on my own....

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