Financial goals achieved:

62k by end of september (goal set 10/07/2023)

60k by end of September (revised goal after big spending in Aug //goal set 25/08/2023)

63k by end of september (ambitious 10/07/2023)

64k by end of September (revised 08/08/2023)

61k by end of October (revised goal after big spending in Aug //goal set 25/08/2023)

62k by end of October (2023, lowball)

63k by end of October (revised 10/07/2023)

62k by end of November ((revised goal after big spending in Aug //goal set 25/08/2023))

63k by end of December (revised goal after big spending in Aug //goal set 25/08/2023)

ABC PLEASE

A: Accumulate positive experiences: It's been a tough few weeks, I facilitated a meeting on Thursday which might have been important to other people

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident: I'm trying to work on indoor cycling goals

C: Cope ahead: prepare and rehearse situations: I think I've gotten better at this in the context of having panic attacks

P : Physical illness prevention : Pass. Panic attacks and weight/bodyfat gain

L: Low vulnerability to diseases: Panic attacks

E: Exercise regularly; I have done 4 days at the gym, 5 days cycling. I've hit my indoor cycling goalds in terms of distance and time (not calories) and I've hit my outdoor cycling goals

A: Avoid mood altering drugs. I got drunk this week, fail

S: Sleep healthy. I think I'm coping. Sleep is disturbed but...I'm not too idle when insomniac

E: Eat healthy: Not sure really. The new API has overestimated my real terms calories

 3 things I'm positive about today

1. Mum and dad came home early
2. I had a nice lunch
3. I think I'm recovering from panic episode
4. I'm relatively on top of keeping organised today
5. I lost 0.2% bodyfat (in the context of suddenly gaining 2% last week)

 ABC PLEASE - 17/09/2023

A: accumulate positive experiences. I don't think I did too much of that this week. Perhaps the most positive thing is I kept going, I also went outside even when I didn't feel like it

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident. my bodyfat went up and my fitness has gone down, but I've not let that stop me from doing 45 mins on the bik yesterday and the day before at the new cardio equipment in the gym

C: Cope ahead. I'm dealing with that right now

L: Low vulnerability to diseases. I'm trying to deal with resilience

E: Exercise regularly: Regularly enough I suppose...

A: Avoid mood altering drugs: my drug of choice lately are lidl salty snacks

S: Sleep healthy: I think I'm doing this

E: Eat healthy: Lidl 'low calorie' ice cream has been my go-to lately

 dear diary

some stuff has happened at work.

i may have lost my job. i'll find out soon. it's not the best situation but it is one of my own creation. I had a major panic episode on Wednesday and Thursday. Friday was recovery. Saturday was my attempt at a normal day. I got v tired after 5pm. 9pm yesterday was this russell brand documentary which was utterly harrowing and depressing. 

Lets focus on the positives. I'm trying very hard not to make a mess of the house and my life. I'm stocking up on groceries. I'm putting stuff away in the bin and not leaving too much of a mess. I serviced my bike yesterday and I waxed my barbour jacket in preparation for the coming autumn. It's still drying up outside. 

Today I hope to firm up a plan for Friday socialising this coming week. today I hope to clear all my non priority tasks. Today I hope to do all the life admin and then maybe think about some nice things to do over the coming weeeks and months. Maybe just maybe if I finish by 7pm I'll get to the gym. the gym has a new suite of cardio equipment and it's really cool. It's integrated to an app so I can log my data on it and it syncs to google fit and all that fancy shit. 

 ABC PLease 

- 05/09/2023 

writing at 1342 in the office

A: Accumuilate positive experiences - I'm not sure I'm capable of that right now. the best I'm doing I s trying to get through the day

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident and not helpless - I'm clearing my NPS and I cycled yesterday 10 miles, expected to cycle 10 miles later today 

C: Cope ahead: I'm working on this okay not great

P: Physical illness prevention: despite not being at the gym in 2 weeks I haven't had any sores except that near cramp last week on the bike

L: Low vulnerability to diseases: my gum issue has gone down and I don't feel dizzy today

E: Exercise regularly: 10 miles yesterday and likely 10 miles today: that's enough?

A: Avoid mood altering drugs: no alcohol. I did smoke yesterday

S: Sleep healthy: I am actively working on improving sleep

E: Eat healthy - I am eating a sweet potato and pork belly in my lunchbox

 ABC Please: 03/09/2023

A: Accumulate positive experiences - I've been keen to get back in my routine after the bike theft on 16th Aug

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident - I'm trying just to keep on track

C: Cope ahead: I'm working on this, last week and week before there's difficulty getting through uncertainty

P: Physical illness prevention: I've been unwell lately

L: Low vulenrability to diseases : ibid

E: Exercise regularly, I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks but I have cycled 40+ miles this week 

A: Avoid mood altering drugs: No booze this week, booze could have helped me

S: Sleep healthy: I've been doing my best

E: Eat healthy: I lost weight but...mainly stressed out