dear diary,

Last week I spontaneously went to a concert. I thought this should mark a change for me. A change in that I should go out a bit more, do things that I want to do. Some of those things don't really involve people. But I'm trying to organise a thing for some of my friends.

One of my mates has had a break up lately, he's been in a relationship for 7 years. That's a long time for someone who is going to be 32 in July.

I figure that it's important for our mates to be together, to be there for him. Men don't really talk about their feelings directly, but they do bond by doing things.

I have friends who have PhDs, half of them have masters degrees. A few of them are on 6 figures. But we all are bonded by a few things. It's true that there are things that have divided us and taken us apart, much like how the Avengers broke up in Civil War.

Relationships take work. Friendships need effort and so do family relationships.

I'm working on my friendships but I really do need to work on my family relationships as well. It's something that is difficult for me. But intentions aren't enough: deeds not words and all that.

In other news, I'm having really really bad night terrors.

I'm looking forward to going to some milsim to play out my inner demons. I'll externalise them as zombies or tangoes and shoot the fuck out of them.