Saturday, July 2, 2016

dear diary,

I'm alone this weekend. That sounds almost like it has an emotional component to that utterance rather than just the factual component.

I suppose both intonations were intended.

I've been spending the day trying to catch up on things. Part of my thoughts in the back of my mind feel like my designs to have a plan for the day are doomed to fail.

Another thing on my mind: lately I've been collecting puzzles from newspapers. In particular, the codeword.

I decided to throw some of the codewords away because I haven't started them and I realise that realistically I won't have a chance to do so.

I wonder if I actually will have time to ever read all the papers I want to read, or write the things that I want to write.

If I accept that I can't do it all, in the way that I have thrown out my crossword puzzles cut out from the paper - would my life and outlook have so symbolically changed? I feel like it would, I can't explain why. I feel like I'll be giving up a big commitment that I had invested in myself.

Perhaps its time.

My room, and my mind, are getting cluttered.

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