23 coffee stirrers over the past couple of weeks.

Today I was thinking to myself. I was thinking about the amount of money coming in, and thinking about the steps I'd need to getting my life together. From the basis of a steady and decent income the steps would be something like:

• Pay off overdraft (in process)
• earmark amounts of money as 'minimum balances' required to avoid going into overdraft situation again - would require making a few matrices
• Once monies are paid into overdraft, I would start going above zero and set up regular payments into ISA
• once I start earning more from this point (and this is really beyond the earning stage I am at now) - think about 'life upgrades' such as:
• moving out
• getting a better body
• upgrading my wardrobe
• updating other kit (such as computer)
• re-think my goals at this stage to what my tasks should be (more job search? less job search? more gym? more social life?)
• Get 'aspirational' things such as musical instruments
• Buffet E11 or E13 clarinet
• Get a saxophone
• Maybe get an intermediate level saxophone
• Upgrade your piano
• Get an A clarinet,
• Maybe an Eb clarinet?
• Maybe a bass clarinet?
• Maybe other saxophones?
• Think about what you want out of your life and how you can get it. 

Aspiration. I feel like given the life that I've had, I really just want to aspire. I want to be more and feel better about my lot. I'm in no position to have a serious relationship or buy a house or the other stuff some of my friends are starting to do. Maybe I can do a course in massage, do a part time PhD? 

Right now, I feel like all those things are possible, if I just went next door to the toilet, and put two fingers down my throat.

It seems more appealing than the alternative

The alternative being: go to bed at a reasonable hour, do my pre-planned activity, get home, do some housework, do more pre-planned activities, and hope.

Hoping.

Hope - is really the nectar I try to thrive on. I bought some new shoes on thursday. I got badminton shoes and shoes for the gym. I also got a badminton wicking top, a badminton racket and a base layer. Aspirational cclothes.