Balancing the good with the bad

Good things this week:

1. I have been making increasing contact with a girl who is very sweet; she said how she really enjoys talking to me; she says how we agree on a lot of things; she has listened to some music I recommended to her.
2. People in my online support group tell me how amazing I am for creating the group; for caring about them, for looking out for them, for getting them all together for support.
3. My confidence and anxiety around the opposite sex are easing
4. I am apparently getting a reputation around students as an intellectual, maybe even a powerhouse.

Bad things this week:

1. My supervisor told me off
2. I missed a seminar
3. A close friend criticises my behaviour regularly
4. Another close friend is trying to gain credit for things I do and say
5. The (aforementioned) girl is benig hit on, it seems, but lots of other guys, who are 18 years old, no baggage; emotional, physical, mental; more attractive, smart, funny, sociable, confident...I feel I don't have a chance
6. I am having personality problems
7. I have had a lot of bad dreams about the past; as if it haunts me in my dreams
8. I cried in the chaplaincy today
9. I am dying inside
10. I am nothing
11. I am a fraud
12. I am a liar; I'm not who I appear to be in social contact; I hide much pain inside me.
13. I am not reading enough