one of my financial goals achieved: reached 44k by end of March.

Next month goal: 45k

 my best advice from google keep is: embrace mediocrity.

i'm recovering from ccovid and i need to be well by monday/tuesday. 

got to work slower, even if i 'know' i could go faster

 note to self: don't buy biriyani from a corner shop

 On this day: Friday 25 March 2022

AGM for Unite, I am elected as diversity officer , everything moved by so quickly on that friday I barely noticed all the things happening at once. It's only now on a Saturday night/sunday morning where I allow space for writing things that I mark how momentous all the things I'm doing are.

0211

27/03/2022

 Some things I ought to say before I do ABC Please;

1. I'm part of several major advocacy groups now

2. I gave some really big speeches this week

3. I have covid, mum had it earlier this week

4. I've been struggling with health this week but I probably have a legit reason this week

5. Next week will be super busy. v important to recover from covid before then

ABC Please:

A - Accumulate positive experiences. I'm trying to do some networking and act all corporate and at the same time hearing out from radical types

B - Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident and not helpless - umm. I have been getting up to scratch on my logging lately

C - Cope ahead, prepare and rehearse situations. I am trying to work on this. I think I need to do it and not talk about doing it. I want to go fine grained in how I intend to plan my coming week

P - Physical illness prevention - umm, try not having covid, that helps

L - Low vulnerability to diseaeses. when Covid is done I'll try and keep fit and go to the treadmill etc

E - Exercise Regularly: this week, how much have I worked out? 

three things I'm positive about

I am able to inspire people

I got up at a normal time today

I managed to go outside today

 ABC PLEASE

A: Accumulate positive experiences

I've had a diffiuclt day (Monday) but my saving grace is that I did some gym for over an hour and a bit of cycling whihc helped my mood and felt positive

B: Build mastery in activities 

I'm working on building my resilience. it's harder when I feel worn down. But all the more important. My piano teacher used to say that the most important time to practice is the times when you feel you can't. Likewise sensei in aikido used to say that we do these difficult exercises because if we didn't continue to do these exercises, we'd lose capability

C: Cope ahead

I'm planning some tasks for the weekend already. Service the bike and some learning tasks

P: Physical illness prevention

I need to rest more and keeping physically active and eating better will help

L: Low vulnerability to diseases

More veg. I feel vulnerable to weakness at the moment so I need to improve on this

E: Exercise regularly

I didn't do gym on Sunday but I did go on a bike ride on Saturday. I did a class on Friday, on Wednesday and Thursday I did some cycling around working in the office, so...I'm doing okay on this?

A: Avoid mood altering drugs

I had a kebab --- is that bad?

S: Sleap healthy

I'm up at 3am, I need to work on this.

E: Eat healthy, there was some veg in the kebab and meat skewer I made

 a few years ago something happened where it caused me so much trouble and worry I needed some outside help to deal with it and its something I still need help with. 

My brother in law had a professional to help me but calling in that chit meant it created a strain in the way my family relates to me.

Anyway I found out that professional died. He's well respected in the community and dI feel a little bit sad and alone with him not being present anymore. The legacy of his good works is that I'm still alive and I'm working full time. The legacy of my health problems are the continued work issues and strains on relationships. 

I'm not sure how to feel about him dying. 

Admission: I have difficulty conceptualising things around time. I've overeatimated what I can do in a weekend and I think I'm going to pay for it if I don't properly write things down

Plan for today: 

(1600-1700) planning rest of day/fixed agenda

(1700-1800) Cooking/eating

(1800-1900) Wrmdown from eating/tidy up

(1800-1900) non priority schema (clearing up gkeep)

(1700-1900) Clearing outstanding tabs of articles to read and videos to watch

(1900-2100) Encyclopedie In parallel with

(1900-2100) Non priority schema

(1900-2100) Logging 

Stop

Again this is too many parallel processes 

Do it again

(1630-1730) Cooking

(1730-1800) warmdown

(1800-1930) Logging

(1930-2100) Encyclopedie

(2100-2230) NPS

(2230-0000) Plan the rest of the week

Tasks I expect not to do:

PDF Reading

Comic reading

Podcasts/audiobook

Work issues

Budgeting

THat seems realistic and also limiting to the things I think are potentially possible. THe thing is, its not potentially possible is it. I just have to get on with the work.

 ABC Please 

A Accumulate positive experiences : I'm in the office today

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident: does cycling count?

C: Cope ahead: I'm working a bit on that, possibly too much in a way that seems like avoidance. Maybe I m not coping ahead

P: Physical illness prevention. I think that the chest pain that I am feeling is not good. i need to reduce my monster energy drinks

L : Low vulnerability to diseases. As much as I like souvlaki and Mcdonalds I should Probably change my eating habits

\E: Execerise regularly. I didn't go to the gym yesterday but I did go on Monday. I felt bad about not going on Tuesday. I felt exhausted after.

A: Avoid mood altering drugs. Energy drinks and fast food are my problematic druv

S: Sleep healthy : I think I did okay. I didn't sleep as early as I should have last night but I did eventually sleep. I think I'll probably sleep well today

 E: Eat Healthy: need to work on this> . 

 Stuff I did this weekend

   I finished a book, so I'm on that book a week target

I finished all my magazine PDFs

I'm watching/catching up on all my tv

I vacuumed my room with the dyson (not as long as the vax)

Polished my boots

Went to see the batman film

Got home in the evening (feeling v anxious outside)

Last week: Got rid of those £115 brogues that hurt my feet

Cleaned my desk including laptop, the fan and behind the monitor

Cleaned my weightlifting gloves. It's dirty as hell, but stinks less

empty vacuum bag and cleaned vacuum with wipes

 I had some night terrors about being shunned.

It felt real. That's how I choose to believe it.

Terrifying.