ABC PLEASE

These past few days I feel like I'm not living enough. 

Let's do the ABCPLEASE

A: Accumulate positive experiences, last week I did a few, I saw spider man and went out to Chinatown. Considering we are on the verge of a lockdown thats a lot

B: Build mastery in activities: Well I am getting ahead on a lot of work

C: Cope ahead: I try to plan ahead on my days

P: Physical Illness prevention: I could be more active and eat less junk food. I ened to improve on this. I had peanuts yesterday and this morning I had some cucumber and salad

L: Low vulnerability to diseases. I'm recovering from the covid jab.Does that count? I'm exhausted

E: Exercise regularly. I'm doing classes later tonight in a onesie. it's onesie day

S: Sleep healthy: I slept most of the day. does that help?

E: Eat healthy. I mentioned this aobve. I could really improve on it. Did I also mention the cucumber? I'm getting an itch from the vinaigrette. What is this fuckiing Larry David monologue I'm having right now. 

 Three things I'm positive about today (Sunday - the day just ended)

I managed to rest all day without any obligations

I got the covid jab earlier than planned because I went into a walk in centre

I've had a horrible time recovering from the vaccine. I frame this as a positive because: If I had the Jab on Tuesday, I'd have been wiped out for Onesie day! 

Friday

 On Thursday I got a lot done. Lots of work, lots of advocacy work.

Oh and I should say I do a lot of advocacy work now. This blog isn't about that story but, yeah, my work and my advocacy are things that involve very interesting people. Anyway, despite Thursday being ultra productive, I ended up being exhausted on Friday. 

It's 0040 Friday now and I thought I might attempt to write up Friday. Lately I feel a lot like I'm not doing much. I'm mfeeling like a failure and I'm feeling like I'm not good enough. I am quite depressed lately and I think the stuff about feeling like a failure is not unrelated. But It's hard to see rationally that there's a connection between the two. Its' hard to do 'rationality' when I'm so tired all the time.

Lets talk Friday. On Friday I got a lot of sleep. I tried to start work early but the weakness/fatigue/low mood got the better of me. I properly got up around 3-4pm. I decided that I needed to write up the past 24 hours because after 4pm on Thursday my mind began to decline a lot and I was very exhausted. Too tired to record all my activities and my food intake. 

I ventured to go to the gym class at 6pm. I wanted to do some rowing beforehand but I didn't manage to. I cycled out to Waitrose after and walk around the Waitrose. There's a nice pedestrianised road nearby and I thought I'd check the Christmas market. There wasn't a Christmas market, what I thought were stalls were outdoor annexes for the nearby bars, and they were also empty. 

I got home, started watching Witcher season 2 which I was looking forward to. I ordered some takeaway, a new takeaway place opened up nearby so I was keen to try it. Now I'm thinking about going to bed early. Perhaps in my ideal world, Saturday will consist of 2 classes in the morning and cycling to Waitrose for the paper and a bit of appetisers for Christmas week. Then I'll get home, shower, rest and start with the work that I need to regularly do for Saturday. It all begins by finishing this blog post and going to bed...

 ABC Please

I've not done this in a while

A- Accumulate positive experiences

I went on a date, I met family, I met my other family, I saw my blood family, I saw Spiderman last night (AMAZING) and I'll probably watch the matrix next week

B-  Build mastery

Playing Halo? no, I've not really done as much on this. However I have been doing some coding learning which is good and important

C - Cope ahead

I could do better at this. I've been very tired lately and I've not had much space to do planning. I should know by now what my plan is for Christmas but...I haven't 

P - Physical illness prevention

I'm not active lately and I'm definitely not eating very well

L -Low vulnerability to disease

I need to go to hte gym and do less comfort eating. This may subject me to cancers. Considering that Eric's dad died this year I can't ignore the seriousness of this

E - Exercise regularly. 

I went to the gym a couple of times but I missed gym on Tuesday, my important day. I was just too tired on Tuesday. 

A - Avoid mood altering drugs

Diet coke and mcdonalds are my drugs of choice

S - Sleep healthy 

In a strange way I've been sleeping better by just accepting that if I need to sleep early in the evening and later into the late morning/afternoon, I listen to my body. Im sleepign too much which is a sign of depression

E - Eat healhty

I'm not. I need to work better on this

 Week beginning 29th November

I feel like last week I didn't get enough done but I have written down exactly what I've done to try and give myself some context

• Monday: exhausted, recovering. I did do the gym and cycling in the evening
• Tuesday: meetings with N, writing stuff about World AIDS day, prelim meeting with lgbt network
• Weds: Leaving do, meeting with new editor of diversity, working in the office, socialising in the pub after
• Thurs: Pride meeting, some surprising developements, meeting with Union
• Friday: meetings with boss. Aunty T's birthday party, restaurant, shon faye book group for academics
• Saturday: Baptism, I was appointed godparent without knowing about it. Dinner and party after. 
• Sunday: resting exhaustion. I didn't get much done I felt too tired. Mum made some lovely dinner though.

More things on the bucket list

More things ticked off on the bucket list:

Watched Dune: Jason Momoa. do I need to say more?

Mulled Wine: found it in a Christmas market

Have a Picanha with the boys

Indoor Small dinner party

Visit an elder

Indoor Party

Religious service

Buffet

Attend a wedding

Wong Kei at Watdour street

Eat Ube