I was watching the fim Ghost Rider (the second one) in recent days. I was drawn to the idea of Nicolas Cage as a person who had a demon inside him. The dark side inside him that was a perverse senes of good. I guess I can relate to that at the moment.

I have a lot of demons at the moment. Demons which are ruining my life. I really want to change myself and I must change with every draw of breath and every sinew of effort.

I woke up about 7am today, and I listened to the radio. Radio 4, it was quite ccomforting. Then I felt exceptionally tired and then I managed to get up and out of bed by about 10:30. Since then I have been attempting to blaze through a pre-ordained set of tasks that I have set for myself today.

I still feel the demon inside me callling, sloth, pride, accidie. All of those horrible things. I am looking forward to a few things in social life coming up:

• A friend of mine is in an opera and I'll be seeing him after work on wednesday next week
• tomorrow I have a discussion group
• I might be going on a date next monday with a person i've not been out with before, but whom I know.
• Stag party in a couple of weeks.