Things I've done today (Saturday - 2am sunday)
A B C P L E A S E
(currently listening to AA Williams song 'Belong')
A: Accumulat positive experiences - I don't have as many of those it feels today. I did meet T in angel, our first date in ages
B: Build mastery in activities - not sure how to interpret this
C: Cope ahead - Not doing very well at this. I have been writing tasks of things I could be doing but...doing them is a different matter
P: Physical illness prevention. i'm trying to go for a kcal reduction plan.
L: Low vulnerability to disease.
E: Exercise regularly - I did a workout yesterday and cycled on Monday. Does that count?
A: Avoid mood altering drugs. I'm very into energy drinks (zero sugar). I had a smoothie that had more sugar in it than an energy drink
S: Sleep healthy - the one thing I'm doing well at
E: Eat healthy. I'm working on it.
ABC PLEASE
A: Accumulate positive experiences - I'm catching up on some deep work
B: Build mastery in activities - I'm working on stuff I've been meaning to, definitely trying to build a notion of myself from the work i'm doing
C: Cope ahead: A lot of what I'm doing is nominally under the pretence of being prepared for the things I am yet to face
P: Physical illness prevention - Perhaps I'm weakest at this
L: Low Vulnerability to diseases - I've been sleeping well, eating *okay*, a few too many energy drinks
E: Exercise regularly, I cycled a bit in my office day. I did a class on saturday. It wasn't that much though
A: Avoid mood altering drugs - my recent drug of choice is a grilled cheese
S: Sleep healthy - Yeah I'm doing this
E: Eat healthy - I've lost/stabilised my weight
I'm very tired today. So I'm trying to set a plan for what I *can* do today.
Here's my 'satisfice'/'maximin' model
(Satisfice)
1. Paper stack: I'll clear the paper stack to my left.
2. TV Watching (passive): I've got a tv feed on. if I just lay down and not pay attention I'd clear this (minimise)
3. Clear logging: I intend to catch up on logging from this Friday, do the weekly review and I'll be up to speed on that shit
4. Reading group book: There's a reader last week at the book group that I only finished 40% of. I'm only 3 chapters left since then and I really want to read the book
(Maximin)
5. Shower
6. Prep for the week
6. Non priority schema
This feels like more than enough. When I've done all of this I'll just end for the day
advice for when things get bad:
Don't exaggerate, stay specific,
Sleep, Yes, really,
Understand that thoughts do not define you*
Don't conflate the present with the past or future*
Keep Physically active.
All of these seem super relevant and important to me right now. I feel so sound up and so exhausted and so ovoerworked and so overwhelmed.
I just need some rest and perspective.
Onwards
Wednesday: awake between 0000-0500. Slept and woke up 1145. Got to work 2pm
Finished work 9:20pm. got home 11pm. went to bed 0500 (couldn't sleep)
Thursday: slept almost all day. by 2350 (basically friday) i felt well enough to get back to desk work
Friday: it's 5am. got ahead on some work. i even planned some tasks for me to do.
It's 5:22.
I have Lists on google keep to remind me of my goals and my intentions. Here are some. intentions direct action:
ABC PLEASE
A - accumulate positive experiences. I think keeping the house clean and doing chorse helps as a baseline
B - Build mastery - keeping on top of things helps. Mental self discipline
C - Cope ahead - I need to work on this more. Someone said at a meeting yesterday that some of planning is basically working back from what we know
P - Physical illness prevention - I had salad for dinner does that help? Just need to have salad more often
L - Low vulnerability to diseases - this is when I stop to take my supplements
(0424, stop writing to take supplements)
(0429, stop writing supplements)
That's L covered
E - Exercise regularly. I was on the treadmill on Saturday. Maybe after work on Tuesday I'll treadmill it. I need to write in the book thought
A - Avoid mood altering drugs. My drug of choice is cheese
S - Sleep healthy. .I woke up at midnight and I felt fully rested
E - Eat healthy. Maybe I'll have some follow up food
Dear Diary,
I went to sleep too early after work on Monday. I had a half day sick. I was unwell on Monday. I managed to do a very little amount of work. My exhaustion, my low motivation all got the better of me. I think I need to just ride it out when I feel low like that. Just accept it and think about when it gets better.
I woke up just around midnight. I decided I'll just get some stuff done while I still have some lucidity. I went through the pantry for some canned food for a midnight meal. I ate some canned tuna, sweetcorn and I paired it with some salad leftovers on Sunday. It felt unexpectedly healthy as a meal.
I'm now watching Seinfeld season 3. I'm up late, I'll have some telly on while I get on with things. I seem to be all about watching iconic TV sitcoms nowadays.
I'll get on with some work now.
