Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Dear Diary,

I did all my reading and logging and admin stuff.

There's probably more I could do if I really wanted to.

Here's the thing: I can't sleep.

I'm fluctuating between being angry and feeling a sense of loss, and being sad and also feeling a sense of loss.

My anger flash card says that anger is a substitute emotion. My anger flash card says that I should not direct anger at something that doesn't deserve it or merit it. People can be angry about some given object a, but direct it at object b.

Spinoza says to identify the object of your affect. In so doing, not to misdirect the wrong affect to the wrong object.

I wish I could go to sleep.

I think that maybe these are the demons I face. The demons I have that are keeping me awake.

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