I was practicing czerny's exercises.

One of the exercises involved independent action of hands full stop the left hand needed to play legato and the right-hand needed to play staccato full stop the challenge was for the mind full stop the mind playing two different sentiments, two different ways at the same time.

If I practiced I felt there was a challenge, the challenge of working with a broken piano and the challenge of working within my mind.

Working with a broken piano had its challenges, the feedback of my fingers did not respond adequately. I was then thinking a bit deeper, if the piano worked problem would be in my mind. Of my mind executing the right moves and right sensitivities.

I was reminded of the Cartesian distinction between Res cogitans and Res Extensa. I feel like the broken piano. Broken piano does not function because the mechanism is broken. In life my social functionality is not as it was. I cannot do the things I used to do because my mind is broken.

My mind is broken in ways I do not understand. I want to avoid people and social situations. There are only a limited number of social situations that I am capable of dealing with. Many unfamiliar or uncomfortable situation put stress up on me. Distress manifests as a variety of different emotions. Being in challenging situations tests me. Sometimes I'm irritated, angry or upset.

Broken piano can be replaced or repaired. It costs money to do those things. A broken mind requires work to change the connections between anger and situations.