dear diary,

panic attacks have reached levels I've never dealt with in my life.

This is a real struggle.

Sometimes people ask my why I do so much work at the gym.

A couple of days ago, I was sitting on my bed, struggling to get up. Struggling to find a reason to keep going.

That's why I spend all that time at the gym and pushing myself to extremes. It feels like a dress rehearsal for my greatest demons.

Enough self aggrandisation: I have to sleep early and work tomorrow.