On pain of being melodramatic.
I will have to go to a life changing event tomorrow. It will be life changing for me.

I feel like I won't be around for very longm. The past few months I've known about this and I've lived in a way as if that 10am tomorrow is going to be my last day on earth, or my end.

So today is akin to my last day. If I'm still alive, I won't be the same and I know I won't like who I will be. This has to happen and ...I still don't know how to be truly candid and expressive about the shit gong on in my head.

The way I can express myself lately is... Collecting salt packets, wet wipes, coffee stirrers, receipts, free newspapers, PR review albums and academic book review books. You might call it obsessive collecting behaviour. I call it a desperate attempt at some stability.

Goodbye

If I'm alive tomorrow. I won't be the same person