Monday, September 27, 2021

 Today I found out a teacher from school died. Not a teacher of mine but he was a teacher for some of my friends.


I've also found out last week that we've been offered a pay rise. 6.1% over the 4% that was offered. Part of that came from pressure in the union. Its been pointed out that some of the people who negotiated that pay rise have no been made redundant and so they won't get to benefit from it.


Okay so lets do my regular task: ABC PLEASE


A: accumulate positive experiences

This Thursday I'm going out to see Bond with my mate

B: Build mastery in activities that make you feel confident

I guess Gym later

C: Cope ahead: prepare and rehearse situations, I'm not so good at that but I try to write in my notebook about how to cope ahead

P: Physical illness prevention

Gym. Need to do more on eating less crap food

L: Low vulnerability to diseases: umm. Not sure 

E: Exercise regularly.

Gym tonight 

A: Avoid mood altering drugs. Does Lasagne and takeaway count? either way need to do less of the latter

S: Sleep healthy, I've actually done good at this lately, so much so I'm actually behind on admin

E: Eat healthy. Need to work on this


Sunday, September 26, 2021

 Hopes for the future


  1. More money
  2. More savings
  3. Buy for more independence
  4. More time off
  5. More personal time
  6. More achievments
  7. Better fitness

Sunday, September 19, 2021

 My hopes for the future


  • I want to go zip lining or go on a touring bike holiday
  • I want to be more physically active
  • I want to spend a few days in Bristol working
  • I want more free time
  • I want time with friends
  • I want more money
  • I want happiness
  • I want to feel good in my conscience at work
  • I want no transphobia at my work
  • I want work life balance
  • I want to stop putting things on hold

Three things I'm positive about today.


1. I had a good sleep

2. I had gotten back into an old (and good) habit. I'm listening to some death metal on my spotify playlist. Its been so long since I've listened to some actual metal and not like just some basic bitch magazine editor recommended shit. Like deep diving into discographies and deep dive into real bands 

3. It's about midday and I'm thinking hard about trying to get as much done possible today. I realise there's a lot to do and I need to map exactly what I'd want to do. Call it perfectionism, call it the gap between ability and reality perhaps.



Tuesday, September 7, 2021

Post covid bucket list


As I've perhaps mentioned before, I've had been developing a post-covid to do list during the lockdown. It looks like a few of them will be fulfilled soon. Here's the list:


  • Smoke Mandingo cigar with colleagues
  • Lend Phil (work guy) a cigar
  • Smoke cigar with Phil and Lykey

Monday, September 6, 2021

Black T Shirts (a 30s consumer obsession)

 IT seems I don't have much going for me in life. Utterly consumed by my job that I can't talk about with anyone. Utterly taken by routine and the difficulty of finding structure and being overwhelmed. No time for socialising or people (this week was a good exception).


Lately I've thought really hard about my clothes. I think about what will be suitable to wear going to work, commuting, what fabrics deal best with sweat, what fabrics I wear well while travelling and what fabrics don't smell or feel weird if I wear it too long. 

With that I've been targeted by adverts on facebook and instagram constantly about t-shirts and even done my own online research. I've bought 3 black shirts that are basically the same thing but completely different and really weirdly overpriced. I feel like I'm going to wear it as if I'll wear it forever. I do feel pretty cool wearing it. Perhaps its the feeling that it cost so much. So the jackets I got are: 


Elgin: most recently. Elgin is this UK brand that gets advertised a lot to me. It's called the perfect t shirt (GQ). I've worn it once, its a bit thicker than what I'm used to but for September that's not such a bad thing. It feels good. It wears well. It is all cotton which I am in favour of and I only wore it for fitness purposes so perhaps I'll see how it goes for future wears.

Another one is an American brand, J-Crew. It's really preppy. I'm surprised that I'm into preppy being a hairy longhair. It feels good. It cost way too much, the postage cost as much as the product. There's no other way to get itt. It feels very light. It's a bit baggy but I'm also fatter so that fits me well. It has a breathable feel but I can feel it when I'm sweaty and at gym sessions it gets totally soaked. Having said that I think its a perfect staple item.

Another T Shirt comes from POC. POC is a cycling brand and I have one of their helmets. I thought I'd give it a try because it said it was merino wool. It's great, it has a nice thickness, it deals well with sweat but it does have components of lyocel/tencel which is a semi-artificial fabric and artificial fabrics smell bad as they aren't porous enough for sweat, or something about them that causes the odour to still stick on the fabric. Having said that it keeps the sweat off with the little passable feel of natural fabrics, it is also potentially a good layer for when it gets cold. I might stick with this but not buy any duplicats. 

It's hard to find the perfect shirt. Of the above each have their pros and their cons. Having said that I'm still undecided on the Elgin. Perhaps, just perhaps, GQ are right. If they are I might get and Elgin merino wool shirt.


Gosh. How did I end up being American Psycho? I'm definitely channelling some unresolved personal issues into an obsession with black t shirts. Don't get me started on stretchy trousers.