2 August 2025 (written 03/01/2026)
I’m looking at my google calendar of anniversaries. It seems on 2023 this was a day that I started messaging Ju. I told Juke about the incident with the cycling bib. I opened up to them. The morning after Jusaid they were enthralled by me and desperately wanted to see me again and attracted to me. Ju asked if I felt the same. I said yes but I’d have never ever acted on it. Juke told me about their therapy and how they decide lots of things talking through with their therapist and.. Well I’m not writing about htat but it’s notable that was exactly 2 years before what I want to talk about.
August 2. LC invited me to see a cabaret show that wasinclusive. We went to a place [redacted]. I met her. I remember that I forgot to tuck when I went out to the station to see her and I was really distressed. I told Lwhen I met her on platform 8 that I wasn’t tucking. I know that platform well but to see my Lthere felt different. She was understanding and comforting and she said we can go back home to get my shorts. I said maybe we can go to uniqlo because I saw they had some cycling shorts and they weren’t padded. I still have those shorts to this day. I feel a special connection to them. A few days earlier I bought a purple crop top, medium size from Uniqlo, ,that’s when I saw the shorts and knew about them but I didn’t think to buy them because I was still on the padded shorts.
she said she’s happy to go with me to Uniqlo and I went to the changing rooms to try them and she waited a while, she was very kind and patient and understanding. I told her that I grew up in ths area and I told her about the Odeon The old cinema got demolished It was 2002 October or maybe Spetember. My friend S knew I was really into this girl N and we just started sixth form and having co ed classes after 5 years of the boys school. I really liked Nbut my mutism got me when she knew I liked her. I kind of liked her friend her friend too, They could see through me how I liked them and I was just so shy and sensitive and they knew I was sorta clever and I was mute and I told b this and I creid and I said I really regret how it went and L said it wasn’t my fault about the mutism mand then I was like why am I telling her this most vulnerable part of me? Lwas so kind and accepting.
After I bought the shorts we went to [place], which is right next to the cinemashe had pancakes I remember. I went to put the shorts on. It was the first time I was using a new way tto tuck. I usually prefer padded shorts but the cycling shorts felt good. They tucked me but also had a slimmer profile so I didn’t have a padded bum which many people would notice. This started something that I still continue to this day. I only use uniqlo cycling shorts for tucking now. I started since December using women’s leggings from uniqlo but it basically is the same thing. Also uniqlo cycling shorts and leggings they have pockets thats so cool. It redefined things also it was the first time I wore that purple crop top. I got more since then but I couldn’t find size M so I had to buy S and XS but since I lost more weight it actually fits me really well, it emphasises my muscles and makes me look like im really jacked and its a crop top and its sorta soft and its this mix of masculinity and femininity and neither of the two and both at the same time and with the uniqlo shorts it means so much to me and I only found this combination out by accident.
Also because I had this combo for the first time while being out with her , it felt special and wearing the pairing of a crop top and the shorts it ties me to her and a good memory and it just represents something nice and positive and happy and I love her so much. I told her that I loved her but she said she needs time. I finished her pancakes. I said I don’t eat as much and she was concerned. #
[rest of the story in my archive]
1711 03/01/2026
