I thought I'd update you on some things, because I'm procrastinating right now:

• I've been offered a full time position at work. A staff position, not fixed term contract. That means more pay
• I might not be able to take the job
• I might have to go away for a while ( afew years)
• I have a tax return
• I have low funds
• I'm under stress
• I'm not well
• I want to get better
• I'm working on myself a bit more
• I should get back to work

Dear Diary,

It's 1940. I'm still at work. I did some work, I did some more work. Now I need to catch up on some life admin.

I've been putting this off. I need to log the things that have happened recently into my google calendar. I also need to set a plan of action for the distant future.

A lot has happened and a lot is happening. Perhaps issues that are too large and too head-fuckery for this blog.

I have addiction issues. It's really tough. I will need to make big changes to my life and changes that I am not sure I will be able to cope with.

But the thing is. I have to do it. The alternative is much, much worse.

I've truly fucked things up. But I feel that the fuckery was deep inside me. Something deep inside me was wrong and has been wrong. Deeper than my depressive episode of the mid 2000s. Something about my childhood.

Perhaps I should talk more about what happened during my childhood.

For now. I should stop procrasturbating and carry on with life admin. THen go home.